Rock Gap Cottage

We're working on our cottage, one board at a time and have most of the subfloor done!

So far, it's mostly scavanged wood, and right now it's pretty much a dance floor.

Each month we crunch numbers to see if there's anything 'extra' so we can buy lumber or concrete or nails, and right now the answer is 'no.' So camping next week will include less costly, simple manual labor to clear trees and debris and just 'be' out there thinking forward.

Camping this weekend.

Since we'll be camping this weekend....I also had to add this to www.pimpmyouthouse.blogspot.com

Dear Ellen Degeneres . . .

Dear Ms. Degeneres,

(Obligatory, but subtle, gushing here . . . I really enjoy your personality!)

When I'd heard of the same-sex marriage inroads that California is making and that you plan to marry Portia, I wanted to send you a congratulatory note (so, Congratulations!). My husband and I have been married 4 years this May 20. We were married in Massachusetts, having applied for a license on the first day it was allowed, May 17, 2004. Now we live in West Virginia, where I am a full-time college student and a part-time bartender and although our love is very real, our marriage certificate (at least in W.Va.) is worth less than the paper on which it's printed.

When filing taxes and filling out official forms we must still check the 'single' box and we do not enjoy "the total of 1,138 federal statutory provisions classified to the United States Code in which marital status is a factor in determining or receiving benefits, rights, and privileges.” (GAO-04-353R Defense of Marriage Act - Update to Prior Report).

I think that we are living in exciting and changing times, and am hopeful that you and I and others in the same boat will see the days of marriage equality. I am also hopeful that your celebrity status will add visibility and credibility to our plight. (Our plight being that we are unable to automatically enjoy all those marriage rights without the additional expense of lawyers drawing up legal contracts for privileges that even less committed male/female spouses receive, i.e. medical decisions, visitation, inheritance, etc.)

I am even more hopeful that your marriage and relationship is successful, fulfilling, eternal and full of love and the 'sanctity' of marriage.

The 'sanctity' of marriage, - to me - means the dynamics of building a life together. It's a comfortable melding of personalities and wills and coexistence which offsets the outside pressures of bills, car inspections and evening news. If anyone believes that same-sex marriages will destroy the sanctity of marriage, they probably don't know any life-committed same-sex couples.

Mike, my husband, and I are living 'the American dream,' which means a lot of debt, a few acres of land and building a home, (one board at a time), three dogs, a cat, and looking forward to the rest of our lives together. With or without the marriage license, we are happy together and enjoy the 'sanctity' of marriage (well, not so much enjoying the bills and the evening news), and we wish you, Ellen and Portia, an even greater happiness as well.

Congratulations again,
Chuck Walker

Wowsy Wowsy Woo Woo

Wowsy wowsy woo woo.

That's all I have to say.

After looking at our income and outgo. EEEP!

The price of gas, the price of cigarettes, the price of living 'the dream.'

Wow. Fortunately, Mike and I can both walk to work most of the time.
And I'm supposed to be quitting smoking anyway.

Fortunately I work at a bar and can get a free drink once in a while.

We're walking a thin, thin line.

My Report Card

Straight A's ! ! ! !

However, since I can't do ANYTHING straight, um, a lovely row of A's.

I'm absolutely thrilled! Nothing was really written in stone, so I had to sit and fret until the final grades were posted (today).

Now, where are all the rich relatives who send me large bills for each A?
(I'm not afraid to beg. Click on PayPal and send dough to poizniv@gmail.com !)

Hmmmmm? Because this school thing (and that taxes thing) has REALLY taken a toll on our finances. (The pets are getting a little edgy when we flip through the pet recipe book.) And the tip jar at work seems to be broken.

(Remember Save Dora?)

No, we won't eat the pets.

Happy dance, happy dance, happy dance.

Now I'm going to go work in the yard and sunshine. What a great day.
Fiddle dee dee we'll worry about finances tomorrow.

Prissmass 08 Quicky

This video is just to give you an idea of the size of the Prissmas fire.

Because of college schedules, we didn't have much time plan an outrageously traditional Prissmas. However, a wonderful time was had by all. And we did hit most of the traditions.

The Prisspops caught a little flack because they weren't technically liquid, and they both looked and tasted like poo. Dark rum and pina colada Jell-o shooters are awful.

It was an early night, getting to bed by 3 a.m.

The spitting liquor, brought by the ladies, was absolutely horrendous.

The new addition of a baby keg, provided by the ever thoughtful Lady Prisspott, was and is fabulous. It should just fit in my lunchbox.

More when there's time. I'm a bit drained today.

The Best of the Westside Chadwicks

Merry Prissmas Everyone!

Today is Prissmas!

Prissmas Baby! Saturday, April 19th!

Prissmas falls on the Saturday, April 19th!

Each year, more and more people are saying "I told you so" on the Saturday closed to 4/20. Do YOU celebrate Prissmas? It's the one holiday where no one is expected to be absolutely perfect and charming, no one has to be polite to "Aunt Smells Funny" or "Uncle Pull-My-Finger" just because it's a holiday.

AND - If someone bursts into tears because the holiday is RURNT, you know you've done well.

"All I wanted was a nice, quiet, Prissmas."

Prissmas is Coming
(To the tune of Christmas is Coming - and can be sung in a round!)

Prissmas is coming
We’ll rub it in your face
Time to bust your chops and
Put you in your place

If you’ve had a lapse in judgement
(A small faux pas will do)
If you’ve made a slight mistake
You know that we’ll tell you
We’ll tell you!

Prissmas is the celebration of the spirit of "I told you so."
Our own grand observance of it will be postponed due to exams and papers - but we will be privately observing at home by burning something and kicking a small neighborhood child off our lawn "I TOLD you to stay off our petunias! and have a Merry Prissmas."

I've taken the liberty of copying all the traditional events and garbs from last year's reminder.

Let's get you started on YOUR Prissmas celebration!

Traditional Garb:

An apron and lei. You can wear other things in addition to the apron and lei, but it's not required.

Decorations:

A dead tree branch, painted pink. Stick it in the ground outside and adorn it with rats and crabs. The original Prissmas tree also had plastic martini glasses and orange ribbon.

Food:

Anything that can be cooked in a bonfire that would at first cause one to think, "Hmmm. No. I'm not eating that." But in actuality, really isn't half bad.

Mountain Pies: Two slices of bread, slathered with anything, enclosed in a pie iron and stuck into the bonfire.

Pre-Packaged Stuff: Bags of chips, cookies, easily shared finger foods in burnable packages.

Beverages:

Liquor. There's no explanation necessary. Liquor is liquor. You know what to do. Besides, it'll help loosen your tongue. "I told you those pants made you look . . . fatter."

Beer.

Other. It doesn't matter which. In fact, don't even bother. If someone needs to drink 'other' beverages, they're probably not at your Prissmas gathering.

Events:


Prissmas Bonfire: It's not Prissmas without a bonfire. And it's not a Prissmas bonfire unless it's secretly doused with gas before some unsuspecting fool lights it (THWOOM!) More than a few eyebrows have been lost in this manner. For many months we've been carting our scrap wood and burnables out to the field at Prisspott Manor and piling high the Prissmas pyre.

The Bonfire Ballet: You set your chairs up around the, as yet unlit, bonfire and chat and gab with your 'friends.' Of course (ala Musical Chairs) there's never enough chairs for everyone, so some have to stand around and chat. THWOOM! You get up from the ground, shield your face from the fire while reaching for your overturned chair to pull it further away from the fire to a more comfortable temperature. (Like, say, Cleveland.) Those without an original chair can take this moment to snag a chair from one of the other people who haven't yet come to. The fire begins to burn down a bit and you start to notice the nip in the air. So you scootch your chair closer. You might take this opportunity to refill your drink - or, if you're drinking from the bottle, to open another. Again - people without a chair can take this refill time to commandeer a seat for themselves. Rinse and repeat.

The Who-Catches-On-Fire-First-Pool (Also known as Flaming Queen): This is probably self-explanatory, given the details of the Prissmas Bonfire. In our circles, we can't actually have the betting pool, because everyone predicts it will be Lady Prisspott. Clearly, she's a crowd favorite, what with the tree incident, and the flaming gas can incident, and, well, these would just take up an entirely different blog entry to explain. Suffice it to say, she's a shoe-in to win every year. (Sometimes, when the spirit of Prissmas hits us, we even try to set her on fire at other times of the year. What fun. Good times.)

Liquor Spitter: Take a swig of cheap, gosh-awful-tasting liquor straight from the bottle. Swagger as close to the bonfire as you (safely?) can. Spit the liquor into the bonfire. The bigger the FWOOSH!--the more right you are when you said 'I told you so.' You'll need others to watch, because after the FWOOSH, you're either getting sick from the icky booze or running around screaming "MY EYES! MY EYES!" like a big sissy.

Walk the Plank: You did it when you were little, why did you ever stop? It's the let's-see-how-this-burns game. Take those little plastic soldier men and afix them to the end of a stick, then put him in the fire! "I'm melllllltingggg!" Empty wine bottle? Most of them melt (some may even explode - or so I'm told by old One Eye). Place it in the perfect spot of glowing embers and argue with the others who try to move it with the stick to the OTHER perfect spot. (The next afternoon, you can collect from the ashes anything that didn't entirely burn up and make jewelry!)

Prissmas Carols: Bore your friends to tears by singing EVERY LAST Prissmas carol in your own Prissmas Carol Book.

The greatest compliment that can ever be bestowed upon a Prissmas event hostess is -- "You've RURNT Prissmas!" And it must be pronounced 'rurnt.' (It means ruined.) If someone says this to you at Prissmastime, it means you've sufficiently shattered any hopes that some faux pas they've performed over the past year has been forgotten. You've crossed the line then. It's progressed from a frivolous outting of light-hearted, friendly jabs to the true meaning of Prissmas, self satisfaction that you were, indeed, right. And now, everyone knows it.

The Tax Man Cometh

Okay, so in February I had all of my W-2s and such and went to H&R Block and sat quietly while the guy punched in all the numbers.

When I quit my job, last July, and went back to college full-time, I also cashed out my retirement and Mike and I bought property.

This property is 'the rest of our life' spot.



The feds took out a hefty portion for taxes, but not the state, so we kept a little savings in anticipation.

What we didn't anticipate was that the feds didn't take out enough taxes, so our tax bill at the end of the number crunching turned out to be $28,000.

I was shocked.

I took my stuff home and told Mike on that Friday. Then I said "We won't talk about this today or tomorrow." We simply couldn't. It was way too disconcerting. How on earth would we come up with that sum?

We talked about it a little on that Sunday, but it was still too soon to wrap our heads around it.

Finally, we had to do something. April 15th wasn't getting any further away. I applied for a new credit card and added it to the two we already had. We paid the state with what we'd been saving, and put the rest on three credit cards.

Yes, we realize that the IRS offers payment plans, however . . .

In addition to the fees, penalties, and nonsense of it all, we'd be indebted to the IRS. If we miss a payment there, they can GET US. They could not only get us, but could also get our stuff, including our 'the rest of our life' spot.

So, we opted for the credit card thing. I know that if we miss a payment (which we hope NOT to do) the % rate jumps considerably and we begin to pay more and more, however, they can't GET US, which is our primary concern.

So now, I'm sitting in anticipation of three huge credit card bills and I don't think my income from tending bar is really going to cut it. Ugh.

I am confident, however, that if we're diligent, we can see this thing through without losing our shirts. (I have proven that one can survive on next to nothing and still have money for beer.) It just means buying the super mystery, mystery meat - and the 'guess what this is made of hotdogs.' I have always been a fan of mac & cheese, so that's a plus. However, we'll have to go down the quality list to the Mac and 'almost cheese.'

Fortunately, I'm cutting down on cigarettes, (with a quitting goal) so I'm losing that added expense, and I have enough yarn to keep me occupied in my knitting hobby.

This Summer, Shepherd College isn't offering any classes that I need for my degree, so I could probably put some more hours into working at the bar, (and around the house) - and I'll save on gas, because I won't have to drive to school.

Pros of the extreme belt-cinching...

More time at home.
We still have our home.
A fabulous weight-loss program.
Added incentive to stop buying cigarettes.
Great stories for the niece and nephews. ("When I was your age . . .")
I can one-up a lot of the "you think you've got it bad" stories at the bar.

Your mission, my friends, is to come up with more 'on the up side' ideas.
I think this is going to be a GREAT year.

Spring Break Day 6.

I didn't share with you all that I had a $28,000 dollar tax bill, did I?

I'll blog about that tomorrow. In the mean time, I just want to update you on my to do list, then get back to playing cards with my friends.

Okay, there's way too much stuff left on my list of 25. But I did get the living room painted today, and raked the yard and cut back the bush in the dog run...

I guess tomorrow I'll work on school stuff. I've resisted the urge to add more things to the list. But I've also resisted the urge to work on school stuff.

Groan.

Okay. Tomorrow. I PROMISE. I'll work on school stuff.

2. Paper - Triangulated Reflection
3. Paper - Learning Principles
5. 4-5 Page Report on Acts Chapters 1-15
6. Study 10 Characteristics of Apocalyptic Writing (Due that Wednesday)
7. 10 Page paper on blind obedience and willful disobedience (Outline due that Monday)
8. Read MacBeth (Due that Monday)
10. Finish reading and write about We Make the Road by Walking (Due that Wednesday)
17. Sweep, dust and air out the house
20. Collect 'favorite things' for birthday party the 29th.

Spring Break Day 5

I do have to share with you the story of my developmental notebook.

For the class Social and Psychological Conditions of Learning (5 credits), we have to create a developmental notebook.

In this notebook, we have a section for our notes, five papers biographing major developmental thinkers/theorists, four current articles on technology, exceptionality, assessment and multiculturalism, each with an executive summary, a developmental table covering the five thinkers/theorists, and a master reference list.

All the other students who'd taken this class groan and sympathized when they'd heard I was in the class and working on the notebook. "Wow. Good luck with that. It is a load of work." etc. So I borrowed a notebook from another student who had taken this class before to use as a guideline or model. A chatted up some other former students, "where did you lose points? what did you do for this? that? the other?" etc., and set to work.

When mine was done, I was SO proud.



Mine was so much fuller. Bigger is better, yes?

So I took it to school and bragged about it to people not in my class. "Look at this, see how much bigger it is?" Brag brag brag, boast boast boast.

Then I headed to that class. Waiting in the hallway were all my classmates and sweet baby gherkins! mine was one of the smallest notebooks! I was so dissappointed. Imagine going all your life thinking you had the biggest thingy and then you see someone else's.

Then I started hoping that size really didn't matter. But my balloon had been deflated.

A week passed and the grades came in. The notebooks were worth 60 possible points and the instructor told us "Count yourself lucky if you got anywhere near 60. There were a couple 59s and a few 58s, 57s and a handful of 50s, but there was only one 60. And some of you, well it's just unfortunate."

[inward groan from everyone]

The grades were passed out on 8.5 by 11 sheets of paper, folded in half and stapled closed. When I got mine, I peeked at the grade and put it away and continued to work on the current assignment. Other students were looking at their grades and other student's grades, and decyphering the notes and looking at their notebooks. Until finally J. looked up at me and narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

Guess who got the 60 ! ! !

Out of the original 25 things to do during Spring Break - (and since it's raining and I can't work in the yard) I'm off to work on numbers 1, 4 and 7. (With a trip to the library and Patterson's Pharmacy.

1. Observation Grid (Due that Monday)
2. Paper - Triangulated Reflection
3. Paper - Learning Principles
4. 8-10 Page Essay on a specific literary aspect of one or two books of the bible
5. 4-5 Page Report on Acts Chapters 1-15
6. Study 10 Characteristics of Apocalyptic Writing (Due that Wednesday)
7. 10 Page paper on blind obedience and willful disobedience (Outline due that Monday)
8. Read MacBeth (Due that Monday)
10. Finish reading and write about We Make the Road by Walking (Due that Wednesday)
13. Cut out weed growth / cut back big bush in back yard
14. Rake the back yard
17. Sweep, dust and air out the house
19. Paint the living room
20. Collect 'favorite things' for birthday party the 29th.
24. Clear the altar - set it for Spring

Spring Break Day Three

1. Observation Grid (Due that Monday)
2. Paper - Triangulated Reflection
3. Paper - Learning Principles
4. 8-10 Page Essay on a specific literary aspect of one or two books of the bible
5. 4-5 Page Report on Acts Chapters 1-15
6. Study 10 Characteristics of Apocalyptic Writing (Due that Wednesday)
7. 10 Page paper on blind obedience and willful disobedience (Outline due that Monday)
8. Read MacBeth (Due that Monday)

10. Finish reading and write about We Make the Road by Walking (Due that Wednesday)


13. Cut out weed growth / cut back big bush in back yard
14. Rake the back yard


17. Sweep, dust and air out the house
18. Put everything in its place (including take stuff to attic)
19. Paint the living room
20. Collect 'favorite things' for birthday party the 29th.


23. Find a pattern and start knitting socks
24. Clear the altar - set it for Spring

The list dwindles.

1. Observation Grid (Due that Monday)
2. Paper - Triangulated Reflection
3. Paper - Learning Principles
4. 8-10 Page Essay on a specific literary aspect of one or two books of the bible
5. 4-5 Page Report on Acts Chapters 1-15
6. Study 10 Characteristics of Apocalyptic Writing (Due that Wednesday)
7. 10 Page paper on blind obedience and willful disobedience (Outline due that Monday)
8. Read MacBeth (Due that Monday)

10. Finish reading and write about We Make the Road by Walking (Due that Wednesday)

12. Rake out that area and the front area, replace with new clean mulch
13. Cut out weed growth / cut back big bush in back yard
14. Rake the back yard


17. Sweep, dust and air out the house
18. Put everything in its place (including take stuff to attic)
19. Paint the living room
20. Collect 'favorite things' for birthday party the 29th.

22. Finish that sweater
23. Find a pattern and start knitting socks
24. Clear the altar - set it for Spring
25. Give a whole day to my husband

My To Do List

I told you I'm torn over what to do during break....

We received our mid-term grades and I was shocked to discover two Bs. (Okay, I almost cried.) So, that was a kick in my diligence.

Here's my list....

School

Conditions of Learning:
Observation Grid (Due that Monday)
Paper - Triangulated Reflection
Paper - Learning Principles

Bible as Literature:
8-10 Page Essay on a specific literary aspect of one or two books of the bible
4-5 Page Report on Acts Chapters 1-15
Study 10 Characteristics of Apocalyptic Writing (Due that Wednesday)

Shakespeare:
10 Page paper on blind obedience and willful disobedience (Outline due that Monday)
Read MacBeth (Due that Monday)

Appalachian Culture:
Finish reading Unquiet Earth
Finish reading and write about We Make the Road by Walking (Due that Wednesday)

Home

Outside

Cut back and dig up bushes by gate
Rake out that area and the front area, replace with new clean mulch
Cut out weed growth / cut back big bush in back yard
Rake the back yard
Get rid of big garbage in yard

Inside

Remove plastic from windows
Sweep, dust and air out the house
Put everything in its place (including take stuff to attic)
Paint the living room

Extra

Collect 'favorite things' for birthday party the 29th.
Blog.
Finish that sweater
Find a pattern and start knitting socks
Clear the altar - set it for Spring
Give a whole day to my husband

Okay, that's 10 things for school and 15 things for home.

25 total things and 9 days. Let's GO!

Spring Break ! Day One.

Okay, it's the first day of my Spring Break and I still don't know what I'm going to do.

Top of my list is to finish that dang sweater I've been working on since Winter Solstice. It would be poetic to finish it by Thursday, which is Vernal Equinox.

I have about 7 or 8 pieces of schoolwork I could be getting to.

Spring cleaning! I want to take all the plastic off the windows and air out the house. It smells like dog, cat and bear in this house.

Rake the yard and get rid of some debris and bushes.

Finish taking down the fence in the back yard.

Paint the living room.

Blog.

Clear off my pagan altar and start fresh (Ostara is for new beginnings and making plans!).

A week seems like a lot, but if I keep adding to my list, I'm going to be sorely disappointed by the time that Monday and school starts up again.

I also need to devote some time to my fantasticly wonderful husband.

Next entry will be things to do.

We'll check back in a week to see how it went.

Finish

(A stream of consciousness blog - because I've been away for a bit.)

That's it. One word. Finish.

That's my New Year's Resolution for 2008.

It doesn't mean finish everything, but it does mean getting some things OFF OF MY 'TO DO' LIST !

I've been EXTREMELY busy over the last few months (as you know) with school and learning the ropes as a bartender.

Well, seven A's out of seven classes put me on the Dean's List, but it also put some things in perspective for me.

I never see my friends. The house goes for weeks without a good sweeping, cleaning, ordering, etc. And all of my hobbies get shuffled around from room to room.

I worked diligently at some important things, but this year I'm working on some higher goals. The bigger things need to be finished, while maintaining a good school record.

How do you eat a whale? One bite at a time.

So....this year, I'll work toward my New Year's Resolution one bite at a time.

I really want to finish the downstairs this year.
I want to finish some paperwork. (Mostly taxes.)
I want to finish the PRAXIS stuff and get into the teaching program. (Two test scores successfully received, one to go.)


So, rather than looking at the entire list of stuff that needs to be done, I'll be looking at individual small things that I can fit into an evening or weekend here and there. - For instance, the living room needs to be painted to a sellable color - and toward that end, I cleared bookshelves today that need to be moved away from the wall.

I'll still knit. I want to finish this Cobblestone sweater. Then I have some tweed to do something with, and one skein of some neat blue and green silk blend I got for Christmas. But what do you do with ONE skein?

One major bit is taxes this year. That's going to happen whether I have time for it or not. I have lots to do in that area, but rather than looking at the sheer weight of the task, I'll focus on the individual little bits and pieces that need to be gathered before the big day in April.

So, one bite at a time I will finish things this year. Last year, my resolution was 'simplify.' And I didn't do that very well. Yes, I quit my D.C. commute and now I work 3 blocks from home, but I also tacked 7 college classes onto my list and reduced my income by a HUGE amount. Perhaps I'll carry that resolution over to this year too. I'm on my way with only 4 classes for the Spring semester (however, one is a doozy).

Happy Holidays!

Normally I mail my holiday cards to arrive the day after Thanksgiving.

Just to make people curse under their breath - "That damn Chuck."

This year, however, I was balls deep in schoolwork and stuff so NO ONE got a holiday card.

I did send a mass e-mail to a bunch of folks to let them know what I was doing - again - schoolwork.

And here for you readers is my report card. If you had made a donation to Chuck's Scholarship Fund, you'll be happy to read it.

A = Seminar In Education
A = Peer Tutoring and Composition Theory
A = Foundations of American Education
A = Introduction to Visual Art
A = Introduction to World Literature I
A = Teaching Reading and Adolescent Literature
A = Survey of the Exceptional Child

The teachers have been wonderfully helpful. I talked to most of them and expressed a desire to do well in their classes. If I felt I was struggling, I let them know, and also asked what I could do to ensure an A, i.e., extra credit, supplemental reading, revisions, whatever. They'd give me a list or options, and I'd try to do all of it.

They really do appreciate earnestness.

Some of my classmates, however, do not. One group in a class was making a presentation on Carver which I now want to read. They explained how he excelled in college and was a curve-breaker and asked "You know what a curve-breaker is, right?"

Spontaneously five or six people pointed at me or said "Chuck!"

None of them are actually mean about it, though. And I look forward to seeing many of them again in January.

Anyway, I'm happy to be done with the semester, and I think I'm much better prepared for next semester.

Right now, I'll be studying for my PRAXIS exam in January and I'll try to clean house and blog some more.

I miss all of you! Send comments!

Writing for Children

Today I read for a fourth grade class in the library at local elementary school. I have no regular association with children so I have no relative idea of ages and grades or what they are capable of and when.

When I started to transform Antigone into a children’s story my main goal was to keep ‘the moral’ intact. My interpretation of the moral is that wisdom can be found in everyone and only a fool would disregard it. To get to that moral while sidestepping all the suicides and the hint of incest was my first challenge. I didn’t want a happy ever after ending, but I also didn’t want people hanging or throwing themselves on swords.

The next challenge was to explain why people were disobeying the king. My first rendition left that out completely, saying that he simply made up silly rules that nobody liked. When I read it to classmates, they wanted to know what the rules were that were so silly. Everyone wanted to know why. I didn’t want to go into great detail about two brothers fighting and dying over the rule of a city. One gets burial honors and the other is left, by decree, for carrion.

I took the totally tamed down tale to the school today and met my fourth graders. They are much bigger than I thought fourth graders should be. (Again, I had no reference point.) So I asked them, “How many of you have younger brothers and sisters?” Fortunately, many of them do. I told them that I’d created a story for a younger crowd and I need their help to make it better. Then I asked them if they knew what kings, queens, princes and princesses are, and of course they do. Then I asked if they could tell me what it is that a king does. I got a variety of answers; “They go to fancy parties, wear fancy clothes, sit on their thrones, have butlers, play with their money, boss people around,” et cetera.

I read them the story and they were extremely well-behaved, listening throughout. Then I asked what they thought and how I could make it better. Suggested ideas included talking frogs, bears and Transformers. Some students had wonderful suggestions on ways to get rid of the king. “Take him for a walk and get him lost while everybody else leaves the kingdom.”

The librarian asked me to tell them more about the original story. I told the group that the story was written for a much older crowd than my story. I confessed that all the people who went away forever, actually died. Immediately the children were on their knees in their chairs insisting on knowing how. What a blood-thirsty bunch.

Antigone for Children follows.

Antigone for Children

Antigone for Children

A long time ago, in the city of Thebes, in the land of Greece there was a brand new king, named Creone. He had never been a king before and on his very first day as king he made up some very silly rules. You see, he thought that all kings do is make rules and people obey them. And indeed, in this city, everyone thought the same thing; that the king must be obeyed. So as soon as Creone put on the thin crown of king, he started making silly rules.

For example, he had two nephews, one of whom he liked very much, and the other whom he didn’t like at all. So, he made a rule that everyone in the city should like the nephew that he liked, and not like the nephew that he didn’t like. Everyone thought that this was a very silly rule, but he was the king, and the king must be obeyed. So everyone liked the nephew the king liked, and didn’t like the nephew the king didn’t like. Everyone obeyed the king except one person, Antigone.

Antigone was the sister of the two nephews, and she loved both of her brothers very much. So Antigone decided that she would tell the king she thought that was a very silly rule. Antigone put on her best flowing, white gown and jewelry and did up her hair and went to the king and stamped her foot and crossed her arms and said “I think you have made some very silly rules, and even though you are king, I simply cannot obey because I love both of my brothers very much.”

But the silly king, and a lot of people at that time, didn’t think that girls could be very smart, so he covered his ears and said “I don’t have to listen to you, because I am a king and you are a girl!” and he sent Antigone away forever.

Now the king and queen had a son. His name was Haemen. Haemen liked Antigone very much and he also liked his father very much. And fathers and kings must always be obeyed. “Oh, what shall I do?” he thought. Finally, he decided to put on his best robes and go before his father the king. “Please don’t send Antigone away forever” he begged “ . . . because . . . well, I like her, and besides, I think your rules are silly too.”

But the king didn’t think that young boys could be very smart and he covered his ears and said “I don’t have to listen to you, because I am a king and I am older than you!”

So, Haemon decided he would go away forever just like Antigone.

Next, a very wise blind man came to see the king. His name was Teresias. And Teresias said respectfully, “My king, everyone thinks your rules are silly. You should probably change them.”

But the king didn’t think that anyone other than a king could be very smart, so he covered his ears and said “I don’t have to listen to you because I am a king and you are not and you have to obey me!”

And Teresias warned the king, saying “Because you will not change your silly rules, everyone that you like will go away from you forever.” And with that, Teresias left.

Now the king sat for a bit on his very fine throne, with his very fine robes and his very pretty crown, and thought about what Teresias had said. “Well,” he thought, “Teresias is a very wise man. Maybe I should have changed those rules.”

So the king got up to look for Antigone, but Antigone had gone away forever. Then the king looked for his son, Haemon, but Haemon had gone away forever just like Antigone. And when the Queen found out that her son, Haemon, had gone away, the queen decided that she would go away too.

So now the king was all alone and very sad. And the king thought to himself, “I am such a silly king. I should have listened to Antigone, because girls can be very smart.

And I should have listened to Haemon, because young boys can be very smart too!

And I should have listened to Teresias as well, because you don’t have to see or even be a king to be smart. What a silly king I was.”

And somewhere at that very moment, Antigone and Haemon and Teresias and the Queen smiled, because they knew they were smart all along.