Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Gay Card Punch Stock

Okay, thinking some more...

None of the items on the card would necessarily be requirements.

But a certain percentage of punches on the card would signify gaydom.

Divide the card into quadrants: Movies/Shows, Creativity and ?? ??

List the top ten movies/shows all gay men MUST see and quote lines or songs.

The top ten abilities the man must possess
Figure Skating

What about taboos? You, know, for the flip side of the card.

If you do these things, you could lose your card.
Socks with sandals.
Dark socks with shorts.

This is too hard.

How to wash a cat - easy step-by-step video.

"How to wash a cat."

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Gay Card Requirements

Sunday night four guys and two girls (three gay, three not) gathered 'round the television set to watch the 79th Oscars, make our predictions and play Oscar Bingo.

"I can't believe no one has said 'Who are you wearing?' yet."
"Come on, just thank your 'amazing wife' and I've got Bingo."
"If someone trips, I've got two Bingos."

"BINGO! He screwed up reading the teleprompter!"

So anyhoo, Lady Prisspott was commenting on all the notched lapels and ill-fitting this and that. When looking at all the long gowns and the care the women are taking to keep people from stepping on their trains, Lady Prisspott said "I know how they feel."

To which I truthfully replied, "Me too."

It occurred to us both, that this could be something that belongs on the gay card.

According to the Urban Dictionary A Gay Card is a mythical figurative membership credential carried by gay men to commemorate the innate knowledge, ability, or sensibility with regard to any subject matter traditionally and generally considered to be the purview of gay men, such as show tunes, color coordination, fashion, hairstyling, interior decoration, or knowing whether any particular man in the vicinity is gay without requiring him to present his gay card.

A Gay Card can also be stamped or punched when a man (usually straight) performs a stereotypical gay action such as interior decorating, color coordinating, etc. At a certain point the card is filled and the person is deemed gay.

So, help me out here. Aside from the obvious sexual events, what ARE the requirements for a gay card? What categories / events / talents / abilities do you think should be listed and punchable?

Hmmm. Let's get you started.

Floral Arrangement
Color Coordination
Interior Decorating

Have seen and can quote lines from these movies:
Valley of the Dolls
Mommy, Dearest
The Women

What aspects of fashion are required?
What show tunes must be in the repertoir?

Send them in ! The most appropriate will be chosen and incorporated into the 2007 Gay Card.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Too Stupid to be True

Our local paper, The Journal (Serving the Eastern Counties of West Virginia Since 1907), has a feature on page A6 called the Journal Junction. It's where people call or write in their short comments, complaining or praising whatever has recently soured their milk or sweetened their pot. (In the old days, one would just blame it on the local witch, but in today's enlightened society, you send your 'bitch' to The Journal.)

I came across this gem last Friday. I absolutely cannot believe this was a sincere newspaper entry--someone HAD to be playing stupid when they submitted this entry....

Apparently it's in response to another person's post regarding the outdated practice of daylight savings.

"From Hedgesville:"
To the Inwood caller complaining about the change in March to Daylight Savings Time. Don't you realize that the flowers need all the sun they can get in the spring? Any grade school child knows this.

I love it.

Oh oh oh! THIS JUST IN . . .

In Monday's Journal Junction....

"From Martinsburg:"

To the caller from Hedgesville about changing to daylight savings time in March. It has nothing to do with more sunglight for flowers to grow. The amount of sunlight is still the same. The difference is there will be more daylight in the evening.

Friday, February 23, 2007

New Jersey beats 47 other states in the race to enlightenment!

Teaneck, New Jersey

State Officially Recognizes Civil Unions of Gay Couples
Hundreds of gay couples were granted the same legal rights as married couples Monday as New Jersey became the third U.S. state to offer civil unions. More than a dozen other couples applied for licenses for ceremonies later in the week. The civil unions were granted automatically to the hundreds of gay New Jersey coupls who had previously been joined in civil unions or married in other states or nations. (AP)

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Terrorist Cell Phones

I just got off the phone with Cingular (Now AT&T).

Months ago, I sent them e-mailed inquiries about sweet deals on new phones (with all the bells and whistles).

I asked them, where are all the huge discounts for loyal customers? The sent me a response about when I was available for an upgrade.

I told them - I don't want to sign a new contract. I want a cool new phone at the outrageously low LOW price!

They sent me information on when I was available for an upgrade.

I wrote back "Don't tell me about your upgrade thingy. Tell me about fantastic discounts for loyal, already Cingular customers."

So they didn't write back.

Okay, so now my contract is up in just a few short months, and I called Cingular and explained their logic to them.

If the only way to get a cooooooool phone that plays music and videos and does the dishes and walks the dog is to sign a new 2 year contract, what's to keep me WITH Cingular?

All the phone companies offer that. If I can't get a brand spankin' new phone without a 2 year contract, I'm going to shop around.

"Well" they say "we can offer you this one time discount bringing the phone down to [something] dollars with a 2 year contract."


They just kept pushing the contract.

I told them I'm going to shop around because there's no real incentive for me to stay.

Yes, I'll admit it. I want something for nothing. It's that simple.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Consolidating my E-xistance

I've been feeling fragmented lately. Kind of spread thin and in more places at once than I ought to be.

"SIMPLIFY !" Should be my mantra, but I find it hard to self-enforce.

SO, trying to simplify - I'm migrating all my Web existance to this one place.


That means - my pagan notes, my letterboxing, my stage reviews, and the like, should all be linkable from this very spot.

I'm thinking, it's cleaner, it's streamlined, and I can give out one url and let folks navigate on their own.

I have one log in to remember and one template to work from.