Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Gay Card Requirements

Sunday night four guys and two girls (three gay, three not) gathered 'round the television set to watch the 79th Oscars, make our predictions and play Oscar Bingo.

"I can't believe no one has said 'Who are you wearing?' yet."
"Come on, just thank your 'amazing wife' and I've got Bingo."
"If someone trips, I've got two Bingos."

"BINGO! He screwed up reading the teleprompter!"

So anyhoo, Lady Prisspott was commenting on all the notched lapels and ill-fitting this and that. When looking at all the long gowns and the care the women are taking to keep people from stepping on their trains, Lady Prisspott said "I know how they feel."

To which I truthfully replied, "Me too."

It occurred to us both, that this could be something that belongs on the gay card.

According to the Urban Dictionary A Gay Card is a mythical figurative membership credential carried by gay men to commemorate the innate knowledge, ability, or sensibility with regard to any subject matter traditionally and generally considered to be the purview of gay men, such as show tunes, color coordination, fashion, hairstyling, interior decoration, or knowing whether any particular man in the vicinity is gay without requiring him to present his gay card.

A Gay Card can also be stamped or punched when a man (usually straight) performs a stereotypical gay action such as interior decorating, color coordinating, etc. At a certain point the card is filled and the person is deemed gay.

So, help me out here. Aside from the obvious sexual events, what ARE the requirements for a gay card? What categories / events / talents / abilities do you think should be listed and punchable?

Hmmm. Let's get you started.

Floral Arrangement
Color Coordination
Interior Decorating

Have seen and can quote lines from these movies:
Valley of the Dolls
Mommy, Dearest
The Women

What aspects of fashion are required?
What show tunes must be in the repertoir?

Send them in ! The most appropriate will be chosen and incorporated into the 2007 Gay Card.


Coleen said...

I always thought you had to "know Dorothy" to be gay. Isn't that rule number 1?

Lady Prisspott said...

The movie list is long enough to fill the card alone. (Over 40 Version, I can't for the life of me think what'd be on the 20 something list...Pretty Woman???)

In addition to the ones you named the following are absolute requirements;

All about Eve
Mame (points deducted if you actually sat through the Lucy version)

The following are bonus points:

WOZ (extra half point if you know what I'm talking about)
Sound of Music (must cry though)(half points for any other movie version of a stage musical but you must have seen it on stage first)
What Ever Happened to Baby Jane
Dark Victory
Now Voyager
Rocky Horror Picture Show
Victor Victoria???
Boys in the Band
A Death in Venice
Any Tarzan Movie (10 minutes sufficient...cause you locked your self in you're room after just 10 min.)
Making Love

Lady Prisspott said...

Fashion stamp, one or more of the following:

Be able to acurately name the designer of at least three gowns at the Oscars

Sewing any garment for a party or Halloween (using a sewing machine NOT a glue gun)

Knowing any of the following terms and correctly using them in a cogent fashion critique:
Shawl collar
Gore (no, not Al)
Welt(no, not from flogging)

Just-Chuck said...

I'd have to question my own orientation if those terms were required vocabulary.

AND, we can't really make sewing ability a gay card requirement CAN we? Many simply buy their new party dress.

Lady Prisspott said...

Look again, I said any one of the three.

Number one is a pretty common skill. And I said know any of those terms and use it. I know that you know one. And you qualify on number 2.

Anonymous said...

People should read this.