I'm walking around the house on tippy-toe and eggshells because my hubby is quitting smoking. I'm very proud of the progress he is making and to help, we've moved all the ashtrays to the front porch and have banned smoking in the house.
I do notice that I smoke less when I am home now, because I have to go outside. And, I too will follow in the footsteps of reformed smokers, but not until after my wonderful husband has returned to normal.
He's not being mean. There have been no fights or huge disagreements. He's just focused on the cigarettes he's NOT having. I'll get the usual kiss when I come home from work, but instead of sensing "I love you," the message I read is "I could be smoking now."
The only thing I know to do is stay out of his way. So, I slip upstairs and knit in front of the cartoons until it's time for bed. Occasionally I venture back through the house to the kitchen for a beer and whisper a nervous but supportive "I love you" or blow a kiss if I pass near, but my eyes betray my fear "He's going to kill me in my sleep."
His lips automatically form "I love you, too." but his eyes ask "Where's the ammo?" And I escape back to the Cartoon Network.
We have had a couple conversations about our quitting process. We understand that there are going to be some INTENSE situations resulting from our severe behavior modification. So we've come up with a code word. Lllover. You have to drag (not roll) the L when you say it..."I'm going to watch cartoons, Lllover.
When used by him it means:
I love you. Your mere presence grates on my very last nerve.
If you're doing something annoying - All of my patience normally displayed in this situation has been sacrificed to focus on not smoking.
If you're NOT doing something annoying - You're just in my sphere of discontent.
I will love you when this is all over.
When used by me:
I love you. Your mere presence grates on my very last nerve.
I'm trying to be very supportive and loving here - and realize that to keep from shooting you myself - I need to be in another room.
I will love you when this is all over.
Remember this when I am quitting.
Oh boy, I'm not looking forward to my turn. Where he is passively, silently brooding, I'm actively evil and calculating. I hope he can endure.
I figure a great time for me to begin my quitting process is my first week away from the office. No longer will I have the familiar routine of a smoke
walking to the train
before boarding the train,
deboarding the train,
after the Metro
with 10:00 coffee
on the way to lunch
back from lunch
with 2:00 coffee
before the Metro
before boarding the train,
walking home
before dinner
after dinner and
a few while watching TV.
So, as my routine will change drastically, it's a good time to quit, don't you think?
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2 comments:
ANYTIME is a good time to quit.
Listening to your hubby hacking up years of brown viscous goo that had been coating his lungs as they slowly and miraculously, like a phoenix rising from the ashes, are being reborn pink and healthy was a lovely sound...and your house looked and smelled so clean!
Hey Buddy - I've quit as well. I cheated by using the aid of Chantix. It's the new Rx that helps with all of the lovely withdrawals. It is NOT a nicotine replacement. It works with the receptors in your brain. I am not bitchy, (well any more than normal), I haven't injured ANY of the three boys,(big accomplishment here), I'm not jittery, AND I survived a night at the Pub without smoking. Tell Mike I'm so proud of him and to keep up the good work. Love to you BOTH.
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