Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Diving into or Going Over the Deep End Today

I never really thought about how big a day today is or how tense or stressed I might be, but apparently my subconscious was all over it.

I dreamt a LOT last night.

It was all very Anime. Escher-like college building constructs that were fraught with danger--steep inclines, water hazards, sheer drops--that all impeded any sort of smooth traversing. Islands that floated in the air were kept tethered to the Earth by chains and kept dropping boulders.

"That Woman" (if I may borrow from A.C. Doyle) was an ever elusive prey. If one were to interpret dreams, this would be the person who had the power to make everything go smoothly, but was never available, difficult to identify, heavily guarded and always saw me coming.

I'd been after the college for months to let me talk to someone - anyone - I have questions, I have special needs. I'm not a clueless teen. I'm a non-traditional student.

Okay, I'm an anal-retentive, old fart who has done my homework.

Taking what I know has transfered - I know what I need to take.
Take the list of what's being offered in the fall
Subtract anything extraneous or must be taken after some prerequisites.
Now the hard part - build a schedule from the pitifully few that remain.

I'd prefer a full 18 credit, MWF schedule, so I could still work a flexible job.
Two courses are only offered at one time, so I have to build around those.
There are next to no good Lit courses offered, and...and...and...

Long story, less long - I have my 'dream' schedule - and I've been watching those classes fill up for weeks and weeks.

Turned away at every request, I'm sure I've been a nagging, simpering, begging pest.

Now today - a complete stranger will look at my file for the first time and puzzle all that out for me? I don't think so.

I'm torn. Should I just sit at the advising table, wasting valuable time as someone else takes that last available seat in Survey of the Exceptional Child -- getting the bored I'd-rather-be-golfing-but-am-doing-you-an-extreme-favor look and listen to their lecture ...


...Should I hand them my nicely printed schedule with the current enrollment numbers and say between gritted teeth,

"Listen, buddy," I'll say, grabbing the sweet-smelling grandmotherly lady by her frilly lapel, "you don't know me and I don't know you, but you have something I need and you're going to give it to me."

Frantic - she tries to maintain the delaying tactic "Now, young man, if you'll just take a . . ."

"THE ALTERNATE PIN ! WHAT IS IT?" Beads of sweat roll down my spine as I see in periphery a bookish looking transfer student head to the registration computer.

Wildly looking left and right for some kind of savior "But, you'll have to . . ."

"THERE'S . . . NO . . . TIME !" I punctuate each word with a slap across the face and pull her up to eye level "Do you see that man over there? LOOK AT HIM ! In all liklihood he is, at this VERY MINUTE" my voice rises "taking the last seat in a class I NEED!" I drop my voice to a whisper "And if you think I'm being ugly now, by God, just you wait 'til I have to come back for an override form. Now," I say, straightening her collar, "give me the alternate pin."

"Here, here it is." She whimpers, reaching into the skirt pocket next to her ample bosom. "555555! Is that what you want?! TAKE IT! I've always hated advising days." She cries.

But her face, her fear and her tears are already forgotten. I have what I came for, what I've been searching for for months. The pin number that will allow me to register.

And now only one thing stands in my way - students whose last names come before mine alphabetically.

NOOOOOO ! ! ! ! !

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